Maslow's hierarchy

My faithful...

 ...and silly companions.

 When I left my apartment today, look who was waiting for me on my porch! Tortie Girl, we love you! Tortie Girl was very wiggly-friendly (she reminded me a lot of Miss Lemon), so it was hard to get a good pic of her.

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Long-time followers of this blog have probably noticed the paucity of new art being posted. One reason is that, without the studio wall space I used to have, most of my unposted pastels are in my loft storage area now and kind of a pain to deal with (hence are going unphotographed).

The other reason? Other than the big red circle painting I posted recently, which was completed during Open Studios, I've been making no new art. 

Why? Even I hadn't been able to figure out why I've been unable to even enter the studio. 

But I think it's because I'm dealing with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. (NB: I cut and pasted the graphic and the two paragraphs below that, so blogger put all of that, plus my own text below that, into a big white box. Very annoying. But I don't know how to fix it.)

A key aspect of the model is the hierarchical nature of the needs. The lower the needs in the hierarchy, the more fundamental they are and the more a person will tend to abandon the higher needs in order to pay attention to sufficiently meeting the lower needs. For example, when we are ill, we care little for what others think about us: all we want is to get better.

Maslow called the first four needs 'D-need' as they are triggered when we have a deficit. Only self-actualization is a need that we seek for solely positive reasons. Maslow also called them 'instinctoid' as they are genetically programmed into us as essential for evolutionary survival. Loss of these during childhood can lead to trauma and lifelong fixation.

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The first half of my childhood, part of my twenties, and most of the years of my marriage, I was able to focus on the top parts of the pyramid. The rest of my life has been a struggle being stuck at the bottom, and never have I been more at the bottom than now.

I know the best thing for me would probably be to get in that studio and make some damn art, regardless, but I have been artistically paralyzed for quite a long time now and I am just hoping the ability to do art will return eventually, on its own time.

I really am trying to count my blessings, including my beloved animolecules, who are the best company imaginable; and including the support I receive so regularly from my kind blogger friends.

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Thank you all again for your contributions and donations (including a new one that hasn't shown up yet)!

I have been able to begin the Contempt of Court process on the person who owes me money; I will be able to take Mojito to the vet for his shots, annual exam, and a possible ear infection; I was able to pay my heat bill and to pay for the local low-cost clinic for the uninsured to begin blood and urine tests--I found out I may have Cushing's Disease, an endocrine disorder which I had never heard of before. I have many of the symptoms. I'll keep you updated about the results. 

Visitors

They remind me of three teenage boys spying on the proverbial neighbor woman in the bikini.

It's Tortie Girl! She's returned to tease my boys some more. Gadjo was absolutely beside himself.

My silly boys don't know it, but when they're not looking, Tortie Girl marches brazenly up onto the patio, sniffs all around, and drinks from Mojito's outdoor water bowl.

(Don't worry, she's not a stray. She lives in one of the buildings near me.)
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And I had another unexpected visitor today: Mr. Migraine! Oh joy. :(

I took a migraine pill and felt better about four hours later. I always get what I call a "migraine hangover," though, and tonight I had a weird experience. I took Mojito out for a late walk, and was feeling a bit dizzy and lightheaded from the migraine hangover. I had the strangest feeling at one point--for about half a second, I believed I was completely untethered to the earth, as if there were no gravity. It was bizarre...and sort of interesting. The brain is fascinating.
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Even more weirdness

The physical maladies just won't stop...  Two days ago I had a bad migraine all day and night and woke up with this in my eye. Looking in the mirror to brush my teeth, I did a literal double take.

The internet tells me it's just a burst blood vessel and will go away by itself. At least it doesn't hurt--it just looks creepy.

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Fennec maintains a lonely vigil at the window, hoping for Tortie Girl to come back.

...And then of course there's these two weirdos.

More art on my website: jalapfaff.com

Fennec gets excited

What got Fennec all excited, out the patio window?

It's a pretty tortie girl from somewhere in the neighborhood, come to flirt with my three boy kitties through the patio window and shamelessly flaunt her freedom.

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 In the meantime, I still have the weirdest cats in the world. Well, especially Rumi.

More art on my website: jalapfaff.com