Long-time followers of this blog have probably noticed the paucity of new art being posted. One reason is that, without the studio wall space I used to have, most of my unposted pastels are in my loft storage area now and kind of a pain to deal with (hence are going unphotographed).
The other reason? Other than the big red circle painting I posted recently, which was completed during Open Studios, I've been making no new art.
Why? Even I hadn't been able to figure out why I've been unable to even enter the studio.
But I think it's because I'm dealing with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. (NB: I cut and pasted the graphic and the two paragraphs below that, so blogger put all of that, plus my own text below that, into a big white box. Very annoying. But I don't know how to fix it.)
A key aspect of the model is the hierarchical nature of the needs. The lower the needs in the hierarchy, the more fundamental they are and the more a person will tend to abandon the higher needs in order to pay attention to sufficiently meeting the lower needs. For example, when we are ill, we care little for what others think about us: all we want is to get better.
Maslow called the first four needs 'D-need' as they are triggered when we have a deficit. Only self-actualization is a need that we seek for solely positive reasons. Maslow also called them 'instinctoid' as they are genetically programmed into us as essential for evolutionary survival. Loss of these during childhood can lead to trauma and lifelong fixation.
The first half of my childhood, part of my twenties, and most of the years of my marriage, I was able to focus on the top parts of the pyramid. The rest of my life has been a struggle being stuck at the bottom, and never have I been more at the bottom than now.
I know the best thing for me would probably be to get in that studio and make some damn art, regardless, but I have been artistically paralyzed for quite a long time now and I am just hoping the ability to do art will return eventually, on its own time.
I really am trying to count my blessings, including my beloved animolecules, who are the best company imaginable; and including the support I receive so regularly from my kind blogger friends.
Thank you all again for your contributions and donations (including a new one that hasn't shown up yet)!
I have been able to begin the Contempt of Court process on the person who owes me money; I will be able to take Mojito to the vet for his shots, annual exam, and a possible ear infection; I was able to pay my heat bill and to pay for the local low-cost clinic for the uninsured to begin blood and urine tests--I found out I may have Cushing's Disease, an endocrine disorder which I had never heard of before. I have many of the symptoms. I'll keep you updated about the results.